Melancholy

by Cynthia on September 2, 2008

Today I can really feel autumn in the air. The sun is coming in through the windows at a different angle and the garden seems to be slowing down. I was out gathering seeds from some of the spent flowers and the pollinators that visit my garden seem to be working at a feverish pitch dancing from one flower to the next. It is as though they know the garden is reaching its end.

It always makes me feel a little sad this time of year. The garden was all too short for my taste this year. The unusually cold spring cut the growing season very short for us. It all seems to have gone way too fast for me this time.

There is yet another reason for my melancholy today. My oldest son began high school this morning. Today it is hitting me that my little boy is growing up. He has seen 14 summers and today I am realizing just how quickly they have flown by. I can see him metamorphosing into a young man right before my very eyes just as I look out at my Japanese maple and view its leaves beginning to change color with the approaching fall. I long to hold that little boy’s hand again as the time has gone by way too fast.

As I begin to prepare the garden for the new season I am also trying to prepare myself for what lies ahead with these next four years he has left under my wing.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

PGL September 2, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Don’t be sad Cynthia. Another Spring will be here before you know it. Also I know how you feel about your son. My youngest is a sophomore this year. Time flies on by and the teenage years are a real rollercoaster ride. I survived my eldest (who’s 19) and lived to tell about it. lol

Thanks for the kind words PGL. I think I am dreading the rain that is coming with the season ending. Last year it seemed to go on forever.

We are already beginning to see just how much fun the teen years can be. I am holding on cause I can tell it is going to be quite a ride! He’s only 14 and he is already talking about getting his driver’s licence! -Cynthia

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Krys September 2, 2008 at 4:13 pm

September definitely has the ability to provoke sentiment about kids — I guess the start of yet another year of school — a marker of the next level of achievement will do that. My son, 16, is starting Grade 11 (the last year of high school in Quebec). My daughter turns 18 on Sunday and will be choosing universities this fall (and possibly leaving home in a year :( ). And I’m wondering how all those years went by so quickly.

/krys

Krys, that is exactly what I am feeling. How did all those years go by so quickly. I remember him being a toddler like it was yesterday. Good luck with helping your daughter choose a university. I will be in those shoes before I know it at the rate time is flying around here! -Cynthia

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Karen September 2, 2008 at 4:32 pm

I’m with you on the sadly short growing season and beginning-of-school melancholy. But I try to take comfort in the inevitability of the turning seasons and remind myself that we can’t have spring again until we have fall and winter! :>

Love the fall light through the trees photo. There’s something about the quality of light right now that really gets me.

- Karen

Hi Karen, thank you for the compliment on the picture. I was trying to capture the light through my tree so I am pleased that you noticed it. :)

I think my sad mood has a lot to do with my son growing up as I do enjoy the changing of the seasons. In fact the holidays are one of my favorite times of the year. I am not looking forward to the relentless rain though! -Cynthia

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Daphne September 2, 2008 at 4:38 pm

Yes but your fall garden is just about to start. You just planted your seeds. The kids are the same way. I always thought mine got better every year. They are both in college now. I miss them terribly. I cried the six months before my first one left me for college. It is hard to think about letting them go. But just like our plants they flower and become more beautiful as they come into their own summertime.

Thank you for this comment today Daphne. It truly touched me. You are right, they do get better and better each year. -Cynthia

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Cinj September 3, 2008 at 9:43 am

They do grow awfully fast, don’t they? My oldest will be 11 in just 2 short weeks. You think it’s bad that yours is talking about getting a driver’s license? Mine is too. He figures he doesn’t ever have to learn how to ride a bike because he’ll be able to drive a car soon. It’s sad really. How did I let him learn to have such a lazy attitude?

We try so hard as moms, don’t we? Some moments we couldn’t be more proud of our children and who they are becoming. We have to hold onto those moments to get us through the rougher water! Enjoy the time you have with them, life is just a fleeting moment in the wide universe.

Hi Cinj, you comment made me smile. :) What your son said sounds like a lot of kids I know! And you are right I try to hold on to the good moments to help with the bumpier ones. My son has only been a teen for one year and I can already tell it is going to be fun! My friend is always telling me wait till my daugther becomes a teen, then the fun will really begin! Oh boy, at least that is still 11 years from now! ;) -Cynthia

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jgh September 3, 2008 at 12:54 pm

I always feel this way on the first day of school. Mine are still in elementary, but I can’t help thinking “it’s half over!”. And as for my garden, it’s WAY more than half over – at least for this year.

Hi jph, I always seem to get like this at their birthdays too. I swear it seems like yesterday that he was 5! How can he be a Freshman now?! -Cynthia

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Anna September 4, 2008 at 10:57 am

I sure know what you mean about Melancholy. I’m so fond of my garden and have spent many a moment solving my troubles in its glory. And having a child go off to High School is a step toward their adulthood. Hugs for you this week. I wish my kids were little again. I just loved it.

Thank you Anna for this sweet comment. I really needed it this week! -Cynthia

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