by Cynthia

I briefly mentioned in a recent post that times have been rather tough for me and my family. I wish I could happily state that those days are over and I can go about filling this blog with happier and more carefree posts. To be quite honest, times are so tough right now that I am finding it incredibly hard to maintain this blog as much as I so badly want to. I have even given thought to ending it altogether.

You see, three of my four children remain ill. They are all currently under the care of specialists and my weeks are spent driving to and from doctors appointments. As I type this it sounds too crazy to be true and I find myself thinking this can’t possibly be my life. Nothing is more heart wrenching than seeing your child not well. To have three ill all at once is nearly unbearable. I say nearly because somehow I am managing to bear it all. I do not know how I am. All I know is that my children need me and so I stay strong.

My 4 year old daughter has been chronically ill since she was a baby. She has a somewhat rare blood disorder that we must deal with on a regular basis. Currently she is facing many developmental delays which we are seeking out help for. Her health has recently declined as well. My baby boy is failing to thrive and the doctors keep sending us from one specialist to another as they continue to scratch their heads. Then, just in the past month my 16 year old son finally confided to me details that he had been too embarrassed to share for quite some time. To make a long story short and to avoid embarrassing him more the doctors are thinking he might have ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease. We are awaiting more tests to be performed to find out for sure.

I have put off writing these days as ever time I try to write I cannot due to the issues I am currently facing. I do not want to fill my blog up with sad and depressing news. Yet I cannot seem to get away from the need to write about all of this.

I am striving to stay upbeat despite all this hardship. I knit whenever I can as it seems to help in keeping me sane right now. The only pictures I have to share right now is of a sweater I recently finished for the baby.

Seamless Knit Sweater

It is made of organic cotton yarn and is so very soft. Just perfect against his soft little baby skin. I also might add that he looks adorable in it.

Seamless Knit Sweater

(Details to the pattern can be found on my Ravelry page.)

This post seems long winded and scattered to me but at least I got it all out. If anyone reads this I apologize for it being choppy. Please don’t give up on this blog just yet. I hope one day I can go about posting like I used to. Thank you to my readers that are still out there. You mean a lot to this tired blogger!

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