Here I stand, at this moment, thinking back on the life of this blog and how much things have changed since I began it three years ago. I do not even recognize my life from when I started treading down this road. I have faced many challenges and have had to reinvent several areas of my family’s life.

Currently I find myself still dealing with more than I feel I can tackle. The health of my children is stable compared to 6 months ago but still shaky. I am constantly thinking about food and their diet. It has become a full time job. I am also continuing to deal with my daughter’s diagnosis of Autism. I am surprised to admit that hearing her diagnosis hit me harder than I expected. I knew in my heart all along that she was most likely autistic but to hear it officially sent me into somewhat of a depression these past few months. I suppose this may be a common reaction considering what we are now facing.

I am trying to come to grips with what this all means to us as her parents and to her as a child. We continue to seek out various therapies (and who knew there would be so many various forms of treatment) that might be of help to her. We are also wrestling with the idea of homeschooling her as we are concerned as to what a typical school environment might mean to a child with autism and sensory processing disorder. (Follow this link to an explanation as to what sensory processing disorder is.)

As I mentioned above, food is quite the challenge these days. Never before have I paid as much attention to each and every bite of food that my children take as I do now. We are in the process of shifting from a gluten-free and casein free diet over to what is known as the GAPS diet. I have been researching nearly every spare moment I can as to what might be plaguing my children’s health (as well as my own really, but that is another story entirely). The GAPS diet sheds light on so many issues that we are currently dealing with. I hope to implement this diet here in the next month or so. I do not feel like going into the elaborate details of the diet here at this moment but for those interested in what I am referring to I highly recommend taking a look at the links that I will have listed at the bottom of this post.

To summarize, my days are currently spent chasing after two very active children (my 4 year old and 1 year old), homeschooling my 12 year old for his final year (he wants to attend public school next year), and reading as many books and internet sites that focus on diet, autism, and treatments for digestive problems as I can. Unfortunately, there has been little time for gardening. I miss it greatly right now and hope as the weather starts to finally get nice around here (GO AWAY RAIN!) I can steal moments out there when I can.

I know I continue to be sporadic in my blogging and commenting but it is the best I can do at this point in my life. What a ride these three years have been!

For more information on the GAPS diet please check out the following sites:

• The GAPS Diet
• What is GAPS
• YouTube Video

I have been somewhat absent from the blogosphere these past few weeks due to some really annoying (and quite maddening!) problems with my blog. I am beyond frustrated with my hosting company after multiple mistakes on their part. This is on top of the domain for this site having some problems as well. I will spare all the boring techy filled details. All I can say is that I have been near pulling my hair out for the past week now. And all for a site that is really just a hobby I enjoy!

Before I go off on a tangent I need to let my readers know that here in the next few days I am going to begin the ever so fun and exciting (more like nail biting!) task of moving this site to a new server. Just about everything is in place to do so now I just need to make the final plunge. So, if in the next few days things look a little wonky around here everyone knows why. Hopefully the transition will be nice and smooth and no one will notice a thing. {fingers crossed}

I briefly mentioned in a recent post that times have been rather tough for me and my family. I wish I could happily state that those days are over and I can go about filling this blog with happier and more carefree posts. To be quite honest, times are so tough right now that I am finding it incredibly hard to maintain this blog as much as I so badly want to. I have even given thought to ending it altogether.

You see, three of my four children remain ill. They are all currently under the care of specialists and my weeks are spent driving to and from doctors appointments. As I type this it sounds too crazy to be true and I find myself thinking this can’t possibly be my life. Nothing is more heart wrenching than seeing your child not well. To have three ill all at once is nearly unbearable. I say nearly because somehow I am managing to bear it all. I do not know how I am. All I know is that my children need me and so I stay strong.

My 4 year old daughter has been chronically ill since she was a baby. She has a somewhat rare blood disorder that we must deal with on a regular basis. Currently she is facing many developmental delays which we are seeking out help for. Her health has recently declined as well. My baby boy is failing to thrive and the doctors keep sending us from one specialist to another as they continue to scratch their heads. Then, just in the past month my 16 year old son finally confided to me details that he had been too embarrassed to share for quite some time. To make a long story short and to avoid embarrassing him more the doctors are thinking he might have ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease. We are awaiting more tests to be performed to find out for sure.

I have put off writing these days as ever time I try to write I cannot due to the issues I am currently facing. I do not want to fill my blog up with sad and depressing news. Yet I cannot seem to get away from the need to write about all of this.

I am striving to stay upbeat despite all this hardship. I knit whenever I can as it seems to help in keeping me sane right now. The only pictures I have to share right now is of a sweater I recently finished for the baby.

It is made of organic cotton yarn and is so very soft. Just perfect against his soft little baby skin. I also might add that he looks adorable in it.

(Details to the pattern can be found on my Ravelry page.)

This post seems long winded and scattered to me but at least I got it all out. If anyone reads this I apologize for it being choppy. Please don’t give up on this blog just yet. I hope one day I can go about posting like I used to. Thank you to my readers that are still out there. You mean a lot to this tired blogger!